Ridiculous diagnoses.
Uncomfortable accuracy.
For high-functioning people with beautifully explained problems.
“You’re not stuck. You’re just committed to a version of yourself that no longer works.”
The Lineup
Tonight's Common
Diagnoses
Decorative Productivity
"A high-visibility condition where the subject remains in motion at all times to avoid finishing one meaningful thing."
Premium Avoidance
"When someone upgrades their language, systems, and self-awareness instead of making the obvious decision."
Over-Explained Inaction
"The subject can describe the complexity of the situation in exquisite detail, which is impressive, because nothing has happened."
Emotionally Outsourced Decision-Making
"Asking 14 different friends for advice until one of them accidentally validates the terrible choice you already made."
Chronic Rebranding
"Constantly changing the logo, the vibe, or the 'aesthetic' instead of actually launching the product."
Deadline Evasion Syndrome
"Believing time only exists when panic begins to override baseline anxiety."
Selective Self-Awareness
"Knowing exactly what's wrong and using that brilliant insight as an excuse to keep doing it."
Spiritually Decorated Procrastination
"Masking sheer avoidance with language about 'timing,' 'alignment,' and 'waiting for the universe.'"
High-Functioning Excuse Architecture
"Building a fortress of perfectly logical, highly intelligent reasons why you cannot possibly succeed today."
Managed Avoidance
"Strategically delaying the obvious while hoping the problem eventually becomes emotionally cheaper to solve."
Intake Assessment
Please fill out this clinical-ish form so we can categorize your avoidance.
Case Studies
Watch us break down collective delusions.
Client Session 1
1:45 • Unsolicited Audit
Client Session 2
1:45 • Unsolicited Audit
Client Session 3
1:45 • Unsolicited Audit
Client Session 4
1:45 • Unsolicited Audit
Corporate
Therapy
Let us tell your executives what the Slack channels already know. Workshops, keynotes, and gentle organizational roasts.
Our team needs alignment.
No they don't. They need a decision. Book a session where we aggressively facilitate the obvious and charge you a premium for stating what the junior designer muttered 6 months ago.